It's been on my mind.

This is what's wrong with the Republican field.

Mitt Romney. This guy's been on every side of every issue. Really.

John McCain. Do I even need to link to this guy's faults?.... Oh alright, how about his immigration bill and his Campaign Finance laws. And could someone find me an issue where he's come down in favor of individuals making their own decisions? I'm sure something exists out there, I just have yet to see it. And that's just off the top of my head.

Fred Thompson. So you're finally in are you, Fred? That would have been news if you had announced it way back when you started running. Instead I feel like this video has been happening to me, just replace "mom" with "Fred Thompson may be running for President!" Dude, do you want to be president or not? Put aside the fact that he's about as substantive as Obama, at least Obama came out and said it. You lost me somewhere around July, Fred.

And finally, Rudy Giuliani. While he might be the best of the bunch, I can't really get behind a guy who thinks that freedom is all about authority. Nope. Not gonna happen. I'd rather be this guy.

So what do I have left? Ron Paul? He's got about as much a chance of winning something as Darth Vader. Darth always loses. He got sliced up by Christopher Lee, Obi-wan left him a smoldering ruin, and his son and his boss wrecked his breather suit thing. Even when he thought he was winning, Obi-wan was just becoming more powerful than we can possibly imagine. That's about the shot that Ron Paul has.

Mike Huckabee? Am I even spelling his name right? Does it matter? Great job on the diet, good answer to a tough question on evolution. Maybe.... Then again, see the Darth Vader argument.

Don't get me started on the Democrats. Haiku shall explain.

Edwards:
Brown hair pretty boy
spewing populist garbage,
lost his Senate seat.

Obama:
Cloud of charisma,
with audacity to hope,
where is the substance?

Hillary:
The well-oiled machine,
Can you wear a scarf without
asking consultants?

And all I hear when any of them speak is "federalized health care is gonna happen." Here is my retort to federalized health care.