I was recently reminded of a thing I told a friend a long time ago. I was in a particularly good mood and a girl asked me what I couldn't stop smiling about. My mind paused for a second, trying to calculate all of the variables that had brought this inescapable smile to my lips, and, failing, left me with nothing to fall back on but a description.
"It's the sort of smile that starts briefly," I said, "but when you try to repress it, you find that you can't. It slowly expands, as though happiness refuses to be denied." Her eyes lit up with undeniable interest, and a slight glimmer of recognition begged me to go on. And when I did, I found that she was the first person I had ever encountered that had had a moment of pure happiness that they were willing to talk about. Mine occurred when I didn't get on a bus; hers occurred when she did. These types of conversations happen when you're 17.
I recently discovered another type of feeling, long since familiar, but never identified. It is a combination of the anticipation, anxiety, uncertainty and then resolution that both precedes and follows an important decision. The moment begins with the recognition that ones actions in the present moment will have consequences that radiate out into the future.
It continues into the growing awareness of the possibilities of action, generally options that have been previously thought out. I could do A and X would probably happen, or I could do B and Y might result. As the moment progresses, you have either selected an option beforehand or you recognize that action is needed and hope for the best, leading to a decision.
By a decision, I don't necessarily mean telling someone you'll do something. You can tell anyone everything and everyone anything. I mean the moment where you commit yourself irrevocably to a course of action. For example:
"I love you."
"I'll be there."
"You're right, Jack is a shitbag."
"I don't know, I've got nothing against Jack."
"I wish I could, but I can't make it."
"I'm sorry, I don't love you."
And once you're committed, the moment ends with the realization of the new course of action you're set upon. "Well, for better or worse, I'm doing X. Hope I thought it all through."
Experience has taught me that I have not, in fact, thought it all through. But I find myself enjoying those moments of action. Those seconds where life hinges on a word.
...
For what it's worth, I also enjoy those moments where people recognize something familiar in each other, be it a love of art, music, poetry, politics, beer, coffee, movies, sports, jokes, or some other form of common identity. Perhaps even smiles.
And, as always, I try to keep my ego in check, and offer something to those who have read this far and felt they have learned nothing.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Things I don't understand, Part 1
I don't get all the Pats hate out there. This team is incredible, this season is historic, and so many people I know can't stand it. Huh?
I'm a Denver fan. Denver fans have gotten used to losing big games over the past few years, frequently to Indianapolis or the Patriots. I enjoyed nothing so much as when we knocked out New England a few years back (only to lose to the Steelers in the AFC Championship. Shanahan!!!!). But even I like the Pats this year. Sure, Belichick is a grumpy old man with a serious chip on his shoulder. Yeah, he's a dick. But they're just fun to watch. They're playing football like it's meant to be played.
And in honor of all the people that can't stand it, lets try to figure out how good Tom Brady is.
How good is Tom Brady?
When google can't find something, it asks Tom Brady for help.
When Jack Bauer can't handle the terrorists, he calls up Tom Brady.
Brad Pitt once called him up, asking for handsome lessons.
It is a known fact that somewhere in the fourth quarter of the 2007 Pats-Ravens game, Tom Brady was leading a game winning comeback and discovered the answer to Unified Field Theory.
Brady has more touchdowns this season that the rest of his division. Combined.
More touchdowns than the Manning brothers. Combined.
More touchdowns than the combined totals of Drew Brees and Brett Favre (winner of SI's 2007 Sportsman of the Year award).
He has five interceptions in 476 pass attempts. Brett Favre, Jake Plummer, and Tony Romo throw that many interceptions just warming up before a game.
He was a sixth round draft pick in 2000 (went 199th overall) and was rejected by the 49ers. There's a team with some long range vision.
Tom Brady has a 70% completion rate, but... wait for it, he also has a 9.4% touchdowns per pass attempt rate. That means that one out of every ten or eleven pass attempts is a touchdown. For those of you who don't follow football, that number is nuts.
Nuts.
He's a got a great cast around him. Randy Moss picked the right team for his renaissance. A quarterback is only as good as his offensive line. You need a credible run threat to maintain a serious passing attack. Bill Belichick is an enormous ass who didn't really shake hands with Tony Dungry after the Colts-Pats game this year.
Fine. But the point is, this ain't your daddy's football that being played here. This is record breaking history, even if they don't go 16-0. The Pats are unbelievable this year, and as ever, in good times and bad, attention focuses on the figure head.
Hey, if he keeps this up for another 7 or 8 years, people might start comparing him to John Elway.
Hmmm. John Elway.
I'm a Denver fan. Denver fans have gotten used to losing big games over the past few years, frequently to Indianapolis or the Patriots. I enjoyed nothing so much as when we knocked out New England a few years back (only to lose to the Steelers in the AFC Championship. Shanahan!!!!). But even I like the Pats this year. Sure, Belichick is a grumpy old man with a serious chip on his shoulder. Yeah, he's a dick. But they're just fun to watch. They're playing football like it's meant to be played.
And in honor of all the people that can't stand it, lets try to figure out how good Tom Brady is.
How good is Tom Brady?
When google can't find something, it asks Tom Brady for help.
When Jack Bauer can't handle the terrorists, he calls up Tom Brady.
Brad Pitt once called him up, asking for handsome lessons.
It is a known fact that somewhere in the fourth quarter of the 2007 Pats-Ravens game, Tom Brady was leading a game winning comeback and discovered the answer to Unified Field Theory.
Brady has more touchdowns this season that the rest of his division. Combined.
More touchdowns than the Manning brothers. Combined.
More touchdowns than the combined totals of Drew Brees and Brett Favre (winner of SI's 2007 Sportsman of the Year award).
He has five interceptions in 476 pass attempts. Brett Favre, Jake Plummer, and Tony Romo throw that many interceptions just warming up before a game.
He was a sixth round draft pick in 2000 (went 199th overall) and was rejected by the 49ers. There's a team with some long range vision.
Tom Brady has a 70% completion rate, but... wait for it, he also has a 9.4% touchdowns per pass attempt rate. That means that one out of every ten or eleven pass attempts is a touchdown. For those of you who don't follow football, that number is nuts.
Nuts.
He's a got a great cast around him. Randy Moss picked the right team for his renaissance. A quarterback is only as good as his offensive line. You need a credible run threat to maintain a serious passing attack. Bill Belichick is an enormous ass who didn't really shake hands with Tony Dungry after the Colts-Pats game this year.
Fine. But the point is, this ain't your daddy's football that being played here. This is record breaking history, even if they don't go 16-0. The Pats are unbelievable this year, and as ever, in good times and bad, attention focuses on the figure head.
Hey, if he keeps this up for another 7 or 8 years, people might start comparing him to John Elway.
Hmmm. John Elway.
Getting Presidency.
Three men in a garden are asked a question. What if the bird will not sing?
Nobunaga says, "Kill it."
Hideyoshi says, "Make it want to sing."
Ieyasu says, "Wait."
We all get nervous as we approach a defined time for action. Knowing that a thing is coming, but being forced to wait for it. Months, weeks, days, hours, minutes. Years. All excruciating. And without patience, without that critical ability to control one's impulse to force a decision, you can mess it all up forever.
Lets say there's this girl you really like. We'll call her Presidency (what? It could be a name, people name kids anything these days.). You really like Presidency, you think the two of you could have a lot of fun. But she's very busy and important and popular and full of herself. You think that if you could just spend some time with her (like a term or so) the two of you would really hit it off, but you need to get her to see that.
So you set up a date, you'll pick her up in Iowa on January 3rd. A quick flurry of activity ensues, you get a hair cut, go to the gym a bit more, maybe give a speech or two. You start to realize that Presidency might be setting up dates with some other people, but you know she's right for you. This is the time for patience.
For putting in your plan and waiting for it to be carried out. It's not the time for crazed emails. It's not the time for lying. Presidency isn't going like you more because you spent time on your hair. Presidency is going to like you because you told some funny jokes and showed a decent income and were charming. Presidency will stay with you if you can keep her inspired, interested, and involved. Give her something to laugh at, something to think about, and just maybe, something fun to do. That's how you get the hard to get ones. That's how you get Presidency.
Not by wearing a funny shirt and lip-synching lines that aren't yours. Not by getting your friends to say you're awesome. That never works. Trust me.
You've thought out your game plan, champ. Stick to it, don't panic. Have patience.
Nobunaga says, "Kill it."
Hideyoshi says, "Make it want to sing."
Ieyasu says, "Wait."
We all get nervous as we approach a defined time for action. Knowing that a thing is coming, but being forced to wait for it. Months, weeks, days, hours, minutes. Years. All excruciating. And without patience, without that critical ability to control one's impulse to force a decision, you can mess it all up forever.
Lets say there's this girl you really like. We'll call her Presidency (what? It could be a name, people name kids anything these days.). You really like Presidency, you think the two of you could have a lot of fun. But she's very busy and important and popular and full of herself. You think that if you could just spend some time with her (like a term or so) the two of you would really hit it off, but you need to get her to see that.
So you set up a date, you'll pick her up in Iowa on January 3rd. A quick flurry of activity ensues, you get a hair cut, go to the gym a bit more, maybe give a speech or two. You start to realize that Presidency might be setting up dates with some other people, but you know she's right for you. This is the time for patience.
For putting in your plan and waiting for it to be carried out. It's not the time for crazed emails. It's not the time for lying. Presidency isn't going like you more because you spent time on your hair. Presidency is going to like you because you told some funny jokes and showed a decent income and were charming. Presidency will stay with you if you can keep her inspired, interested, and involved. Give her something to laugh at, something to think about, and just maybe, something fun to do. That's how you get the hard to get ones. That's how you get Presidency.
Not by wearing a funny shirt and lip-synching lines that aren't yours. Not by getting your friends to say you're awesome. That never works. Trust me.
You've thought out your game plan, champ. Stick to it, don't panic. Have patience.
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